30% of Republican voters want more government spending in order to create jobs... why the hell did they vote Republican? WTF?
Orrin Hatch, on whether he sees wiggle room on Bush tax cuts: "No, I don't." Nice.
And finally, a couple jokes from Harry Newton:
A 54-year-old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked “Is my time up?”
God said, “No, you have another 15 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by a bus.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 15 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the bus’s path?”
God replied: “I’s sorry. I didn’t recognize you.”
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A man goes to see a psychiatrist.
“It’s terrible, I think I'm a dog,” says the man. “I walk around on all fours, I keep barking in the middle of the night, and I can’t go past a lamppost anymore.”
“Okay,” says the psychiatrist. “I can help. Get on the couch.”
The man replies, “I’m not allowed on the couch.”
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