Alright, I’m not going to go on anymore about Cheney’s recent hunting mishap. The Veep shot some guy accidentally, and I’m sure he feels badly about it. The late night shows all have had their fun with the sophomoric jokes, so I’ll refrain.*
To be complete, John Kerry has also shot someone in his past-- of course, that person was a Viet Cong enemy combatant who had been firing rockets at
Richard B. Cheney, on the other hand, spent the Vietnam War filing his five deferments from the safety of his
*But if you want a few jokes, here they are:
Jon Stewart: "I'm joined now by our own vice-presidential firearms mishap analyst, Rob Corddry. Rob, obviously a very unfortunate situation. How is the vice president handling it?
Rob Corddry: "Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush.
"And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington's face."
Jon Stewart: "But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a bird, why would he still have shot him?"
Rob Corddry: "Jon, in a post-9-11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that
David Letterman: "Good news ladies and gentleman, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction ... It's Dick Cheney." [...]
"We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney." [...]
"The guy who got gunned down is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."
Jay Leno: "When people found out he shot a lawyer his popularity is now at 92%" [...]
"Something I just found out today about the incident. Do you know that Dick Cheney tortured the guy for a half hour before he shot him?"