Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Facepalm of the Day: Donald Trump Releases "Birth Certificate" [Updated below]

Donald Trump has released his birth certificate! This is the most hilarious thing I've seen in months. After going on The View last week and haranguing about how he's smart, street-savvy, went to the best schools, and he KNOWS President Obama is scamming us about his birth certificate. Trump KNOWS there must be something to hide and that's why Obama has not released his birth certificate. To prove he's legit, and not some Kenyan socialist, Trump has issued his own birth certificate.

Wait for it... Here's what Trump released to Newsmax:

Really. OMG, I don't think I've laughed this hard in months. This is the memento birth certificate hospitals issue to parents, sometimes with little footprints, to put in baby's little scrapbook. I've signed thousands of these to hand to parents on their way home from the hospital after the joyous event. A little something for public relations, maybe along with a package of coupons for diaper services or baby formula. You could probably order these cardboard certificates by the ream from any printer. This is NOT an official State of New York birth certificate. Either this is a joke or Donald Trump is the biggest fucking idiot on the planet.

Oh Jesus, I cannot stop laughing. Just thinking about Trump rifling through all his old boxes of his childhood memorabilia: baseball cards, old kid's football, report cards from second grade-- with comments from Mrs. DiSalvo: "Donald is such a good boy" -- and then, "yes, there it is my OFFICIAL birth certificate! Right next to the white bow I wore at my christening."

And he's running for President! Rarely does the shitstorm of stupidity that that inflicts our nation come into such sharp focus. Donald Trump: a walking, talking joke. Born on third base but thinks he hit a triple. Wasting our time with his relentless arrogant bullshit.


OK, for the sake of completeness, Donald Trump has released his actual birth certificate after a firestorm of controversy over the keepsake certificate he presented to Newsmax (above.) Regardless, this does not detract for the hilarity of Trump thinking the above certificate was "official." Note in this link how his staffer goes on about the difference between a "Birth Certificate" and a "Certificate of Live Birth" such as the one issued by President Obama. I'm no lawyer, but the differentiation seems tortured.

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